SO I haven’t posted since the beginning of January, which was a very, very long time ago for someone who claims to be an aspiring writer.
Last week my little brother posted a disturbing Facebook note about a period of depression he went through alone, and how he has been saved by Jesus again. My parents wrote to me immediately to make sure I was aware, which I was, because I always know everything going on with everyone around me as long as it’s on Social Media somewhere. EVERYTHING.
As for myself, I’ve spent the last few months being an emotionally unavailable borderline alcoholic. But you know what I’ve realized? So is everyone else like me, and we are all pretty reasonably happy this way! I keep on wondering if anything is wrong with me, but naw. I still have a cool job I love, I’ve successfully moved into a new apartment, I’ve traveled a bit here and there and will again soon, I hit the gym, I’ve made new friends, etc.etc so basically still a functioning adult. The emotionally unavailability of course is referring to men, but that’s an old and boring story by now. If you love someone, let them go. If you hate someone, let them go. Basically, let everyone go cause boys can be dumb. I’m too busy being obsessed with other things.
For the past 2.5 weeks I’ve been completely obsessed with my new flat. I knew I would be, so it feels right to me. I’m really grateful to have found a studio I love so much, to have this blank canvas to create a home I can’t wait to return to. There’s been no holding back, what my baby lacks my baby gets. Antique armchairs, bar carts, chandeliers, all the things I’ve always wanted but never wanted to splurge on-I don’t mind this time around because I’ve finally found a city I want to call my home base. The longer I’ve lived here, the more I’ve fallen in love with Portland. It’s just ridiculous. Maybe I should get a toaster oven before I go out and get more mantle decor.
And when I finish, I’m flying off to Mexico to celebrate. Because life is short, travel is my therapy and I think I can try liking tequila again. Also, the Shamrock Run this coming Sunday was obviously not enough motivation for me to get back into shape (shoot though, it came up SO QUICKLY), so maybe Mexico will be. My girlfriend who is coming with me keeps on swearing to lose weight as well but so far we just end up hitting theee brunch and bars. #firstworldproblems
What other brain spillage can I afford to leak out. My schedule is working out again so that I can go resume dragonboat paddling and IT FEELS SO GOOD. Being out on the river is my happy place. It is my zen, it is my balance. And balance is the most important thing.
Over and out.